Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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