I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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