Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
