that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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