I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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