Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
