I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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