hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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