Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Randomize
