Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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