she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
