PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
