i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
