so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
