Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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