some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
