Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
