remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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