Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
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I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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