the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize