You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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