She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
