i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
