I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
where are my eyebrows?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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