My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
