Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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