You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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