ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
