HIV tests are more positive than that guy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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