I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
