You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
