Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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