Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize