i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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