i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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