the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize