i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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