ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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