I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
