I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Is it because I queefed?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
