I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.