just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)