actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.