I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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