What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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