I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
