I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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