Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
