I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
