I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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