my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
