shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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