i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
