I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
