Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My vagina is officially offended.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize