yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize