Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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