Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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