I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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