Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
