There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
