Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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